When I became a mother of twins it was the most life changing experience I have ever had and not just because I became a Mum but because it was through this that I actually found myself.
For a number of years I had been working with positive thinking and the law of attraction and it had been working for me or so I thought. I had met the man of my dreams, got married, and set up my own business but I was also broke all the time and stressed so it wasn’t working in every area of my life. It was only in my lowest moments when I was suffering with postnatal depression that I finally realised I truly had no control over my outside world.
This was hard for me to accept because being in control was important to me. I had to discover who I was again because the woman I was no longer existed and this is when I realised I had to work on the inside to be able to control anything on the outside.
I remember all I wanted was to stop feeling like crap, I couldn’t understand why I felt like this. I was surrounded by love, I had just had two beautiful babies and what was meant to be the happiest time turned into the hardest time of my life. I was in complete turmoil inside. I felt everything I had ever wanted was gone, I had always been ambitious but I felt it was now all over. Now I was a mother I had lost who I was. I had always wanted to be a mother and here I was blessed with not just one baby but two and I couldn’t see how anything else I had ever wanted would be possible.
In the months that followed I analysed everything, I questioned everything. I began to focus on what it was I actually wanted, who I wanted to be. It was at this point that things started to change for me. I started to see everything differently and I knew that things could only change it I believed in myself and I choose to be happy.
It is so easy to choose to be unhappy. To choose to blame others for your situation. To choose to look at the negative side of things. To choose to hold on to anger. To choose to be sad. To choose to be in the company of people that bring you down. To choose to be in a job you hate.
It is always our choice and this is the hardest thing to believe and open up to but when you do I can honestly say that it is life changing. Once you choose to change your thinking and look at life from a positive, grateful angle your world will change.