Life Design Coaching, Quarter life crisis

What the hell am I doing with my life?

– The Quarter Life Check-Up –

Life is busy and we get so caught up trying to keep up with our day to day life that we forget to take the time to see the bigger picture. We forget what it’s all about, why we’re doing it and what it is we actually want in the long run.

When we were younger we thought we would leave school, go to college, get a job, get married and probably have kids (or some sort of version of this) because this is what happens in life, right?

Fast forward a few years and for many of us life looks a little different and we find ourselves questioning everything.  How did I get here? What went wrong? Why me? Will anything ever change? Why am I still single? Why am I in this job?  and so on…

If this sounds like you, trust me: you are not alone.

Many of us in our mid-20’s and 30’s feel lost and overwhelmed trying to figure out the direction we really want to go in life.  

This is when we find ourselves re-evaluating everything.  We feel like we are meant to have it all together by now and criticise ourselves because we don’t.

This is known as a quarter-life crisis and is defined by clinical psychologist Alex Fowke as “a period of insecurity, doubt and disappointment surrounding your career, relationships and financial situation”.

So many people around us are experiencing similar feelings and doubts about where they are in life, you’re not alone.

Now that you realise you aren’t crazy and it’s not just you, it’s time to figure out what’s actually going on.

Step 1

Take time out to do some thinking.

Ask yourself:

If I could HAVE or DO anything at all in life, what would it be?  (Be honest with yourself about what you want. What do you really want?  What motivates you? What excites you? What is your idea of a perfect life?).

What is holding you back?

Is this true or are there ways around what is holding you back?

Now imagine your best friend was stuck in a similar situation; what would you tell them?

Step 2

If you really want to go deep and find answers, ask yourself the following:

Imagine you are 80 years old and thinking about your life.

What do you want to have achieved?

What do you want to be remembered for?

How would you like your life to look?

What changes do you have to make in order to achieve this?

What do you need to do right now so that this really is the life you get to look back on?

Step 3

Evaluate where you are today.

A solid understanding of where you really are and what you really want in life is what makes the difference from living the life you think you should to living the life you really want.

The Quarter Life Check Up can help you with this – click here to download now.

This simple tool will help you to gain perspective and review the main areas in your life so that you get a clearer picture of where you are.  

It will allow you to see what areas in your life you want to make changes in so that you can create the life you actually want.

Step 4

Life Plan – Now that you know where you are and where you want to go from here, the next step is to create a plan to take you where you want to go.

If you don’t know where you are going, how do you plan on getting there?

Imagine getting into a taxi expecting to go to work but never telling the driver where you want to go, what do you think will happen?

Either he will decide where you go or he will continue to drive around and charge you until you tell him to stop.

Life also works like this:

If you don’t know where you are going, how will never get there?

There is a chance that you find yourself living your life helping to fulfil other people’s goals.  Allowing others to control your happiness.  Blaming others for the way your life has turned out.

Or you may simply end up living a life without purpose.  Moving from job to job, relationship to relationship or country to country never sure what is going to happen next.  Waiting for life to just come together for you.

“Life doesn’t just happen to you, no one is going to hand you the perfect life”

You have to decide what you want, decide that it is possible for you, take the steps needed to make it happen and believe in yourself.

This is your life and you deserve to live the best possible version of it.

So, what action(s) can you take today to bring you a step closer to the life you really want to be living?

Awareness gives you clarity

When you get crystal clear on what you want and why you want it, everything gets that bit easier.

The above steps are designed to help you gain clarity and reduce the feeling of overwhelm trying to “figure it all out”.

Remember even the smallest step in the right direction brings you a step closer to what you want and the life you dream of.

Change doesn’t happen overnight but know that the life you want exists if you are willing to take action, stay focused and BElieve in YOUrself.

 

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