Lost in Motherhood, Quarter life crisis, Rediscover who you are

Lost in Motherhood

I finally had everything I ever wanted – I set up my own business. I fell in love, got married and became a mother of two. 

This was the happy ever after I had dreamt about… BUT, I wasn’t happy. 

After becoming a Mum everything became a struggle and I let my business go, motherhood consumed me and I felt trapped.  

I just ran on autopilot and lost myself completely.

I loved my babies but I didn’t like myself.  

I felt like an awful mother and wife. 

I hated my body and the weight I had put on.

I felt like I had no control over anything in my life.

I felt like I had let myself down.

This is what I had always wanted so WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME.

I had no idea then that there are so many other women out there feeling the same way.

I was holding on to an image of who I thought I was and it was only when I realised that person didn’t exist anymore that I was able to move forward. 

It was then that I began to embrace who I really was now (the good, the bad and even the crazy) that I was able to let go of what was holding me back.  

This allowed me to give myself a break mentally and I realised that I was just a normal Mum and I was actually doing a really good job.  

Once I let go of the Mum guilt I was able to create a lifestyle that gives me the flexibility I want so that I can be there for my family and also to start a new business that I love.  

I am now a qualified life design coach and work with amazing women who I help to rediscover who they are and create their own version of happiness and success.


“Being a Mum is amazing BUT it is a roller coaster of craziness, emotion, compromise and change and without understanding who you really are and what you need it is so easy to get lost in it.”


Here are the first steps in taking back control of your life and getting to know the new you:

1. Start To Take Notice Of The Way You Speak To Yourself.

We constantly speak to ourselves and it is how we speak to ourselves that affects how we feel.  

So are you being a friend to yourself or are you your own worst enemy?  

Remember you are the only person that spends 100% of their time with you.

How does this voice treat you? 

Does it support you and have your back or does it treat like a bad person and speaks down to you? 

You can learn to control your inner voice and question what it’s telling you. 

If it says something that makes you feel bad, sad or unworthy then you have the choice to question it.  

Is what it is telling you true? 

Is it doing you any favors? 

Is it standing in the way of you taking the next step? 

Is it making you angrier with someone then you need to be? 

You are trying to find out is what you are telling yourself actually true? 

Or is your inner voice actually making everything much harder on you? 

2. Ask Yourself The Following Questions

What do I love about my life? 

What is going well for me at the moment? 

What is important to me these days?

By taking the time to acknowledge what is going well, what you are good at and what is important to you, gives you the opportunity to appreciate what is good in your life right now.  

3. Take Time Out

Taking take out for yourself is so important, even if it is only to go for a walk or a coffee.  

Taking a breather is needed in order to keep your sanity. 

It is not selfish to take “me time” is it a necessity. 

4. Set Goals

Think about what you want and set goals.

When you have something you are working towards it gives you motivation and something positive to think about.  

When you feel like you are stuck or lost it can be hard to see the light, that there is more then just now possible and this is why having goals is so important. 

Remember goals can be big or small. 

You could simply start by setting a goal to make a particular appointment you have been putting off or to take one evening a week to yourself to go walking or researching a course you are interested in and booking it.

Another way to do it is to think about how you would like your life to be in 5 or 10 or 50 years?  

Imagining the future can help you see past the struggle of right now. 

Motherhood is hard but it is only a part of who you are and it is important to figure out what you want and what makes you happy.

5. Do Something That You Enjoyed Before Becoming A Mum 

Go for a walk, go shopping, go to the gym, meet up with a friend, whatever it is for you – find out what you still enjoy doing and make time for it. 

6. Accept Help 

It is important not to burn yourself out. 

Asking for help can be hard but it is NOT a weakness.  

Asking for and accepting help lightens your load and makes that moment a little easier. 

Know that you are not putting people out and that most people are glad to help. 

7. Connect With Other Women

Through social media, friends who are mothers, communities groups – it is important to connect with other people that can relate with you and who may be able to offer helpful and non judgemental advice. 

8. Talk About How You Feel  

Talk to someone that you feel comfortable with, voicing how you are feeling reduces the overwhelm and can help you to feel a bit better.

9. Hire A Life Coach

The benefits to hiring a coach is having someone who can look into your life from the outside with a fresh perspective and hold you accountable to create the change you want.  Coaching can impact every area of your life, it is effective and it works.  All you have to do is show up willing to share, be open to new ideas, and take action.

If you are interested in finding out more about how coaching can benefit you book a FREE call so that I can answer any questions you may have and see if we would be a good fit to work together.  It is important to find the right coach so that you will feel comfortable working together – Click here to book your free discovery call

I am also delighted to announce that I am giving away two FREE sessions this month, so if you are interested in exploring one area where you are feeling stuck and learn how to free yourself from some of that Mum guilt contact me at info@amandamurray.ie NOW!

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